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FOODS YOU WON’T FIND IN ITALY

When you’ll resume your travels and get to Italy, keep in mind these suggestions. Italian cuisine is a distant relative to the American-Italian counterpart.
 

{Fried mozzarella sticks with tomato. Amphora Diner Virginia Creative Commons Attribution}

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Buongiorno amici:

Once we get all vaccinated and restored some usual mindset, we will certainly consider a return to traveling. Italy’s country will always entice the romantics, the food lovers, the artists, the wine enthusiasts, and everyone else impacted by Covid. We’ll add the ladies looking to emulate the “Under the Tuscan Sun” experience to the list. There will always be an Italian man on a Vespa with skinny trousers looking to glamorize you. And once we are in Italy, we will confront cooking that vaguely resembles our accustomed to having. I have compiled a shortlist of the most popular requests to ease your dining experience once in the peninsula.

I begin with the most symbolic representation of Italian food misconception.

1) One day, the spaghetti met the meatballs here in the USA. They went out on a date and stayed friends forever. We like to tweak on all kinds of foods, somehow feeling like contributing to something new. We invent weird concoctions, use ingredients in erroneous order, and use so much garlic that’s becoming a severe strain on relationships.

All kidding aside, during the immigration movement, the need to save on time induced Italian moms to pair the pasta with the meat. Italians learned the art of practicality, rejecting the fundamental reasons why cooking is about science + creativity, and being practical often may become detrimental. Pasta is the second course of the meal after the antipasti and preludes meat or vegetable proteins. Pasta of any type and formula wants to remain alone on the plate and without any friends who could disturb the taste. Follow the Italian meal structure; it makes sense.

2) Garlic bread is an American invention covered with garlic, cheese, and whatever else you have in the fridge. If you buy a great loaf of bread or bake your own, there is no need to top it with very much other than some excellent extra virgin olive oil and a dash of salt. It makes no culinary sense to hide the wholesome flavor of great bread. Italiana has something similar called bruschetta, from the word Brusca (roast). Slices of rustic bread toasted on the open fire served with the new-crop olive oil and a dash of marine salt. Nothing more. If you need to get it out of your system, go to Olive Garden, where you can feast on garlic bread and missile-rods bread-sticks, loaded with cheap flour, sugar, and high in sodium. Conclusion: Garlic bread does not exist in Italy.

3) Shrimp scampi

Scampo is the Italian word for shrimp. So the plate’s name is shrimp-shrimp. The wordage alone would rise to some questions. Shrimp scampi served with pasta in a garlicky buttery sauce does not exist. You can saute shrimp with extra virgin and minced scallions, lemon juice, and parsley, some wine as an option. Soak some bread in the sauce and feast on it. Your version of scampi will be healthier than the typical American standard, loaded with 510 calories, 960 milligrams of sodium, and 54 grams of calories.

4) Marinara sauce

It does not exist in Italy. Regional cooking offers several variations of tomato-based sauces, but marinara is not one of them. The word itself is also confusing. Marina is the location where we dock our boats. That would mean that we should use the sauce for seafood. We use it on everything, including pizza and lasagna. If you would like something lighter and flavorful, opt for the fresh Pomodoro sauce or Puttanesca. Both sauces are made by crushing whole tomatoes into a skillet with olive oil and one garlic clove. Garlic gets discarded after cooking. The idea is to remove the milky substance in the flesh that flavors the sauce.

5) Italian wedding soup

These humorous soups get me laughing every time. It contains sausage and pasta in broth. Still, have no clue about the name, and not very healthy either. Boiling sausage in a chicken or vegetable broth releases fat into the liquid, increasing the cholesterol content, leaving a greasy coating on your palate. The soup derives from the Neapolitan classic “Minestra Maritata,” the marriage of meat and greens, but what we offer does not resemble anything like the original. One dish that resembles the wedding soup is a Sicilian version made with small meatballs made with beef and raisins. It sounds slightly weird until you taste it. The nutmeg in the mix imparts a lovely scent deriving from the Arabic influence in Sicilian Island. Skip the wedding soup because if it does not taste or look good, you won’t have much luck with your mother-in-law anyways.

{Image Wikipedia Creative Commons Attribution}

6) Italian subs

These subs or hoagies pack piles of cured meats, cheese, and greens between some high sugar quick leavened bread. The absurd high levels of nitrates and sodium may be an option when on a pinch, but not regularly. It is, however, ironic that these subs lead the sales in many of the sandwich shops across the land. Well, if the bottom-line takes precedence over a healthy body, then skip this paragraph. There is nothing more divine than a grilled panino with prosciutto, arugula, and melted scamorza.

7) Italian dressing

There is no such thing as an Italian dressing, just like white balsamic vinegar is an American invention, probably started by a consumer’s unreasonable request. Italians use only red wine vinegar and olive oil, with herbs and spices for a salad. As you travel south of the country, lemon and oranges become prevalent as the acids of choice. White vinegar is primarily used for light marinades and seafood salad, not to change the color of the overall condiment. And of course, the mighty balsamic, always available in every age and format.

8) Pepperoni pizza

No, you cannot order pepperoni pizza in Italy. If you do, you will face a pizza with sweet peppers instead. Italian immigrants to America probably mispronounced the word and quickly translated it into the meat. In actuality, there is not a salami or a sausage that looks like an American pepperoni in Italy. If you are looking for meat on your pizza, you will probably receive prosciutto, Mortadella, Bresaola, or Tuscan sausage. Pizza has less cheese, less sauce, and thinner crust. The Neapolitan version is softer in texture and eaten with a fork and knife or folded in two so that the topping doesn’t spill.

9) Chicken Parmesan

Great comfort food, but not Italian or found anywhere in the peninsula. Something similar is eggplant alla parmigiana, but not dredged in the bread crumbs coating. The term alla Parmigiana implies dishes topped with Parmigiano cheese, not mozzarella, Gruyere, Gouda, and other blends. Once chicken gets coated with flour, egg wash, and breadcrumb, there is very little chicken to taste. The coating becomes a sponge and absorbs the fat, turning into a heavy meal.

10) Fettucine Alfredo

Made only by fresh butter and Parmigiano, the Italian Alfredo does not come close to the American cousin, loaded with thick-heavy cream sauce or fatty, heavy cream. But in every little Italy across the country, you can get your fix with the heavy version.

11) Mozzarella sticks

Italians eat fried cheese, mostly specific types, but mozzarella is not one of them. There is not a cheese that resembles the so-called American mozzarella. It’s simply a made-up formula of ingredients: pasteurized part-skim milk, cheese culture, salt, Enzymes, Natamycin (a Natural Mold Inhibitor). The soft texture of fresh mozzarella makes it impossible to fry because the milk will disappear when it touches the hot oil.

12) The Latte’s dilemma fascinates Italian cafes.

One time in an Italian airport, a young American couple asked for a “double latte.” The visibly puzzled server placed two glasses of milk on the counter—milk (latte) in Italian. I saw the scene and helped in clearing the misunderstanding, and explained the reasoning. The young couple resisted and found the request perfectly normal. I also explained that it was 1.30 PM, and not even in kindergarten they offered milk.

I could go on with several more examples, but I’ll stop here. It’s a start for the new Italian traveler in you.

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